a.d. elliott - Take the Back Roads

Dear Henry, When it comes to talking about my accident , I have to say, nobody cares. I say this mockingly, of course, most people want to hear the story, at least once.  But, it is important that I immediately make reassurances, and let everyone know that I am "fine", because, let's face it, no one wants to hear a story with an unhappy ending. It isn't that most people are uncaring or insensitive, it is because stories like this are exhausting to hear and stressful to think about, and really, I don't want to leave any memory of my pain with the people I love. I think Carlos Santana said it best when he said "When you go through hell - your own darkest night of the soul - don't take pictures to show your friends." If I cannot bear my pain, it is unfair of me to ask others to and I deeply regret all of the times I shared it (intentionally or because I lost it). It is difficult not to share.  Pain is an all-encompassing thing and unless...

Dear Henry, It occurred to me that, despite living in a former Confederate State for more than four years now, I still do not understand the Civil war any more than I did when I visited the   Pea Ridge Civil War Site . So, I thought I would investigate the second Civil War battlefield in the area. The Battle of Prairie Grove took place on December 7, 1862. It was a confrontation between the troops led by Confederate General Thomas Hindman and the Union Troops under Generals Herron and Blunt. The battle took place along a ridge located on the property of Archibald Borden. He and his family had just sat down to breakfast when a collective group of around 20,000 men converged on their property and began fighting. While the Confederate army had the terrain advantage of higher ground, the Union army had much better guns and more ammunition. The battle, therefore, was relatively evenly matched. Ultimately though, the Confederate army withdrew. This gave effective contro...

Dear Henry, One of my stepfather's biggest pieces of wisdom was to obey the little rules, no matter what. That simple statement has become one of the biggest tricks in my pain management/PTSD arsenal and one I wish I had embraced much earlier in the process. What do I mean by little rules? These are the rules society (whatever society you live in) expects you to live by. In other words, wash your face, comb your hair, say please and thank you, pay your bills, and above all, never appear in public braless or wearing pajama pants. I will be the first to admit that following the little rules can be challenging, especially when I don't feel well, but they are non-negotiable for a few reasons. Because pain is a constant companion of mine, people always worry about my "state of mind."  People tend to worry less about that if I look presentable, so I do. Also, I occasionally require special accommodations, and, let's be honest, anytime anyone asks for a...